lemons
Commie Lemons? Make Pinko Lemonade
As the methods of effective automobile production have become universal, there is little to differentiate most cars from each other in the eyes of the typical driver. As a result, style has displaced substance in the selection of cars. Price and presentation have become the determinants of selection. The unfortunate outcome is that companies like Volkswagen have become overnight successes because they have offered inexpensive vehicles that represented an attractive ideology to consumers. Yet, as attractive as these cars are, they still represent the surplus value extracted from underprivileged workers in the former non-unionized Mexican plants. The only sound decision that can be made then, is to purchase a car that is as efficient and thrifty as a Volkswagen, but from factories run under a dictatorship of the proletariat.
The East German Trabant, produced just 100 km from where Mercedes and Volkswagens are designed, is an equal display of the ingenuity of German engineers, but was produced under the flag of a communist regime - making it acceptable to the discerning Marxist. The other car presented for consideration is the Zastava Yugo, which looks surprisingly like the 1980s VW Rabbit. While Zastava did continue to operate after the fall of communism as an independent capitalistic endeavor, this short departure from proper ideology will be ignored. Unlike their Chinese and Russian equivalents, the Yugo and Trabant were stylish and efficient without exploiting the wage slave; now it only remains for the Post-USSR communist car buyer to make a decision between these two cars.
Neither of these two cars are powerhouses. The Trabant was the evolution of a moped - it was never meant to be car. Powered by an enhanced motorcycle engine, it is only a two stroke, two cylinder, 594 cc engine with a sizeable 26 horsepower engine. Designed for light driving, this small East German car is not intended to go speeds of over 100 kph (45 mph), and its acceleration is significantly diminished by road grades and head winds. The Yugo is a more traditional car, and possesses a 4 Cylinder, 1.1 Liter, 55 horsepower engine, but is much heavier than the Trabant. The Trabant’s body is made of plastic and cotton - a very innovative approach when it was first produced, making it light enough that two strong people can change a tire without a jack. The Yugo is comparatively massive, requiring a jack to complete this task, but is still under one ton. The acceleration of a Yugo still is not on par with its bourgeois counterparts, but slightly outpaces the Trabant.
On the issue of upkeep, however, the Trabant is in a league of its own. Owners never will have difficulty in replacing the fuel pump, water pump, water filter, radiator, oil pump, timing belt, valves, cam shaft, distributor cap, disk brakes, or brake servo - the Trabant has none of these. Since the fuel tank is directly above the engine, gravity fulfills the role of pricy fuel pumps. The engine is so simple that during the racing season many drivers carry a spare engine and single handedly conduct a replacement if needed. The car is air cooled, making the radiator, water pump, and water filter unnecessary. Moreover, because “the holes for exhaust and input of fuel within each cylinder are set at the exact angle which allows a vacuum and resultant pressure wave from the fuel combustion to act as valves.” Thus, the maintenance on a Trabant is relatively light.
The Yugo however, has a more elaborate construction, making maintenance more difficult. While the Trabant has a loyal fan base in Western Europe, especially in the U.K., it is difficult to find anyone who has any will or ability to repair Yugos. Moreover, since the parent company has become insolvent and United States destroyed the Zastava factory during the Kosovo campaign, the possibility of finding replacement parts is almost non-existent. The few intrepid Yugo owners, however, will have an enriching experience, however, as they search for parts in junk yards. Because of their temperamental nature, many Yugo owners have parted with their cars, selling them for almost nothing to groups who are turning Yugos into works of art because of their elegant simplicity and cultural significance.
When it comes to cost, both cars are strong contenders. A dedicated buyer can easily find either of these cars for under a thousand dollars, although finding one in good condition would be more difficult. The Trabant has become something of a collector’s item in Western Europe, so as time passes it may increase in value and become a wise investment. The Yugo has depreciated significantly from its original four to five thousand dollar new price, going for about seven hundred dollars today. Aside from maintenance, operating both these cars costs virtually nothing. The Yugo and the Trabant average about 40 miles per gallon, although the Trabant may require significant cost to bring up to emissions standards as it has no muffler, catalytic converter, or exhaust system. Because they are usually stationary and awaiting repair, the atmospheric pollution of Yugos is minimal. Most Yugos burn oil at an outlandish rate, but the Trabant is unique because its engine requires no oil - adding a small amount of oil in the fuel mixture is sufficient lubrication.
These two fine examples of Second World engineering are two of the few legacies we have of the Cold War, but they represent the loft goals and aspirations of the visionaries of Eastern Europe transformed into the pragmatic actualities of existence. It behooves any true communist to take up the banner of the proletariat and advance the cause of the worker by spurning the ‘quality’ of the products of capitalist wage-slave produced cars and turn to more desirable alternatives. Of these two gems of modern design, the Trabant excels in many areas even though the East German government deviated from the purer conception of Communism created by Tito in Yugoslavia.