The month dawned clear and cold, with the expectation of new and better things to come. Many choose to sprint now, fresh off the six-week break.

On the other hand, I'm still firmly entrenched in "hermit mode", fragile and senstive to February and its history. Several painful anniversaries are scattered throughout the month. There is nothing good to look forward to, nor anything on which we can look back.

February is a month which must be endured, then shelved away for the remaining 337 days.

:~:

Tonight I had my first opportunity to say, "No, sorry. I don't smoke anymore." Not at all, not a single occasional cigarette, not one drag. There is no desire left. Saying those words aloud sent a satisfying rush through me.

I want to be as strong and healthy as possible. Hockey is good therapy. It is taking over my life.

And I gladly surrender.