Life comma space which does not suck comma space dot dot dot

:~:

Out on the main road this afternoon, walking alongside the early rush hour traffic. Almost too close for comfort, a bus plows down the road in the direction opposite mine. I stop, I watch. It whooshes by me and whips my hair into and away from my face.

I get a vision of stepping in front of it: what the driver would see; what the passengers would see; what their thoughts would be; what the body would look like; what would it feel like, what would the last thought would be; and the aftermath for those involved. This is not unusual for me. In fact, it almost never fails that when I am close to that which has the potential to do such immediate deadly harm, I will envision it happening in front of my eyes.

Today, I thought about stepping out in front of a bus. And today I realized I could not do that. Everything adds up: tomorrow will be different tham today, next weekend will be different from the last and I want to know what will happen. Life feels like an unread book that I am experiencing one moment at a time. It's not always good, and its not always bad; but it makes me feel and it keeps me interested and I am absolutely in love with it.