The Official Irony, Part II:
This "journal" is only code and to the reader I am 0 and 1 properly combined such as to make a digital portrait of a life;
this is not an obsession
bit for bit digital copies are overrated.

:~:

"and i like that entry...but i like all your entries. not because i understand what they mean to you, but because i remember what experiences i had like them...everyone gets something different out of your entries, i think..."

That's what matters. It's about the individual reader, not the writer herself. Surreder of the ego.

:~:

It is what it is and it's good, so don't fuck with it. Not everything has to be particularly deep or special. Stories for the sake of stories are still beautiful. The special can be found in the ordinary.

It does not have to be "not about me" to mean something. Journals are inherently egotistical: my stories that are supposedly "not about me" are still seen through my eyes, my filter. There is part of me in them. Its never been and can never entirely be "not about me." Even when it was about other people, it was about them in relation to me or them to make me seem <blank>.

To what extent is it acting? Is it a portrayal? Its not Saundra who will tell everything. It is filtered and "distilled" for a reason. It's trying to get at the heart of it all.

This is the Intern [dot] Com principle: It was "not about" him, it was about something greater than him seen through his eyes. I don't have the "greater than me" like he did. I have an ordinary life, I am not a first year medical resident, something people would read about because they want to know what its like.

My life most have lived; so I feel a pressure to make the commentary extra-ordinary, to make what could be an ordinary life into an Odyssey and to bring out the everyday mythology that is usually missed by the participant until its over.