I'm reading Fight Club again, because everytime I read it I see something new and it always makes me want to write.

Its beginning.

I'm entering the time in my life where people are thinking of marriage. Four people in my small circle of friends are in long term relationships. That is, they have been together with someone for at least one and half years (if not more).

Everytime someone finds 'love' I lose them. Intimacy, in the emotional sense, is lost. Instead of turning to me when things go wrong, or when things are going wonderful, they turn to the significant other.

Here [school] I am confronted with something I have never experienced before. I am on the receiving side of affections. Not sure what to make of it, I turn them away.

How long will this continue? Until they give up? One day will I be forced to find someone, as have so many of my friends, or be alone forever?

Back at the beginning: we are born alone and we die alone. That is all there is.

I took The Heroic Myth Archeytpe Personality Test and came out strongly positive for the "Destroyer" archetype. How precisely perfect.