My oldest son is a very talented 12 year old. He is an excellent athlete, singer and musician. He is funny and very smart. For some reason he is really struggling in school at the present time. I am not sure whether it has been the transition to middle school that has just thrown him, or what. I value education as does his father and we are constantly on him about how important school work and grades are to his future. I may as well face the fact that at 12 that doesn't amount to a hill of beans. He does want good things for his future, however, he is thinking like a pre teen and not an adult. I have met with his teachers 4 times this school year, and although we all agree that he has a huge amount of potential, we are struggling to get him to attain it. I have threatened to take away just about everything, but this method does not motivate him to do better, it just makes him rebel more.
At school the other day, someone asked me why I did not take his soccer away, after all it is the thing he loves the most. I said honestly, that he really needs this, it keeps him balanced. If he is worked up about something, when he comes home from school, when he gets back from soccer he is much more calm and rational. The structure and discipline of soccer, is important to his development and I am not willing to take it away, so I don't threaten to. Also, he has a one year commitment to be on this team, and I won't let him break this commitment. I have told him that if he doesn't get it together soon, that he will not be allowed to try out for travel soccer again next month. I really won't be able to let him, but it will break my heart.
I have always vowed to do whatever I can for my kids, no matter how much it kills me. So even if I have to cry in my pillow every night I will stand by my commitment to push this child to do his best.
Posted on Thursday, March 13, 2008 8:38 PM by Carol Ann